General comments

Raising children is a real commitment. Although it is difficult to undrestand how life changing it will, you should expect your life will be very different if you have children as they will require lots of time, emotional energy and financial cost. I think life can be very rewarding without children, so those who go through life without children have every opprotunity to life rich and rewarding lives. If you do end up having children, then I hope you will invest in them to your fullest as they are the next generation who will shape our world.
  --mom of 3, R&D, industry or nonprofit

Combining working in research with family worked very well for me because your schedule is quite flexible and you are trusted to run your own projects and go at your own pace. Plus it can be a solitary job if you choose, which is very good. Teaching or having to perform in front of audiences alot during those early days would have been very difficult.
  --mom of 3, R&D, industry or nonprofit

Outsource all non-essential tasks, such as cooking and cleaning, and give whatever free time you have to your children. The experience turns your life from a black and white photo into a colorful one.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Feel constantly torn down the middle.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

I was through my education and well established in my career before having my child at 41. Being self employed and having extended family around made this doable, especially as I was a single mother.
  --mom of 1, R&D, industry or nonprofit

I think how much of an impact it has on your career depends overwhelmingly on your colleagues and their choice of how to respond. I took my 2 month old to long design meetings, and gave a talk to 30 people with him in a Bjorn -- and no one batted an eye. When I said I had to leave to pick up kids, people would rearrange meetings to cope. Having a newborn/being on maternity leave itself still cut into my ability to have a research career, but the support of my colleagues minimized its impact outside of the newborn period. But not everyplace is as supportive.
  --mom of 2, R&D, industry or nonprofit

It's a lot easier if you have money to optimize childcare and provide general household help.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

This is completely doable, but women need to have a supportive partner or a support network of some kind. Also, it is important to realize that compromises will need to be made. Sometimes, family will take precedence, and at other times, work will.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

I am glad I waited to have a child. The time was right when I knew I couldn't work any harder, when my job responsibilies were stable (I wasn't on the learning curve anymore), when my husband was in a good place to take on a real 50% of the responsibilities, and when we could afford a variety of options for childcare. Ironically, I did not have a Federal grant when I became pregnant, but all 3 Federal grants I wrote during pregnancy were funded. My success during this period was part grinding hard work, study section strategy, and luck in the funding cycle. I won't have to write another grant until my daughter is 5 years old!
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

Until I actually went through it, I had no idea what a joy parenthood would be or how much it would reduce my productivity at work.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

It's hard, yes, but also academia is very flexible. The hardest thing for me is the male-dominated environment of the natural sciences - I am the only woman in my department who has children, and even with best intentions the men don't quite understand what it's like.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

There is an immense difference between 1 and 2 children (at least for me).
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I had my first child shortly before earning tenure and my second several years after. Since I had already established a strong research/publishing record and have numerous projects in the pipeline, I do not feel that my career was adversely affected. After my kids were a few years old, I found that the flexibility inherent in my job allowed me to continue my professional work AND spend a lot of time with my kids. I feel very fortunate.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Interesting that the survey is called "kids" plural since I think a big decision is going from 1 kid to 2. Larger families are very rare, seems to me. I think the major issues are the "extra" work hours demanded by email, travel, conferences, dinners, talks, etc that are crucial to maintaining top standing and networking but very hard to integrate with having children.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

Balancing work/life actually seemed a lot easier for me than for several of my n on academic friends. This was partly b/c I was on fellowship during my son's first two years, so could work on a flexible schedule--work "part time" defacto. It would have been harder had I already been on the tenure clock. But finding meaningful work to do with a flexible schedule--that's a real gift.
  --mom of 1, postdoc

Simply put, this is one of the most challenging things that I have had to do in my life -- maintain my career, be a good mother to my children, and be a considerate spouse. I feel as if I've had to fight for my career -- not with my spouse, who is terrific in every respect -- but with a work environment and society that just isn't designed for full-time working mothers. Why can't we have a conversation in the academy about whether it makes sense to have tenure decisions (and the research output required) coincide with prime reproductive years? Though being a sahm is certainly not for me, this often seems like a more agreeable option.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

I find it somewhat frustrating that preschool/school expects you to volunteer a lot of your time.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Though I think people look down on women who have children in academia (especially as graduate students), I think this is very narrow. Most graduate students I know work very hard, yet do not have a fullness of life and a personal life. Having a child requires one to make balance part of their life. And though it may mean one works a little less, the perspective it brings to ones work, I think, is needed in a world where academics seem out of touch with normal people and normal experiences in life.
  --mom of 1, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

I wish part-time, tenure-track work were an option. Then a second child might be feasible. It's difficult to see full-time academic work as compatible with raising two children and next to impossible if one of those children has special needs of any sort.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

Having a supportive partner and good child care made all the difference. Although expensive, having a nanny come to our home also made life much easier.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Academic jobs with PhD's come with great time flexibility, but it is paid back with basically constant work in your life. It makes dealing with kids problems easier at that moment, but means that work gets done at odds hours and often sleep is sacrificed.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Although i feel like having children has slowed down the progress of my career, i do not in any way regret my choice.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I recognise that it could have turned out differently -- I almost let the PhD slip away. I also recognise that some of my colleagues don't experience the sense of being torn, in the way that I do. Still, I feel that I am able to be both mother and academic in this environment. I have a couple of more senior colleagues who are very committed, attached mothers and also successful researchers, so I don't feel that our department is an unsympathetic space. But I do find this juggling act a constant struggle and am aware that I am not always as available to my children, for school outings and so on, as their friends' moms might be. Still, I feel that as a family we are where we need to be and my kids have learned a measure of independence which will serve them well. They seem proud of the fact that their mom has a job and is well respected.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

I tend to be the one to stay home with my child when she is sick, and to take care of school-related issues; more so, than my partner.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

It can be done, but it requires understanding from your supervisors/chairs and A LOT of support from others. Also, MONEY can solve some problems
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

I don't think there is any way to prepare for parenting while a postdoc or tenure-track faculty. There were considerably fewer resources for postdocs than PhD students, particularly with respect to financial support for daycare. I would suggest, if you are able to plan, to have a child while a student or on faculty. Postdocs are judged heavily on productivity when searching for jobs, and it is very difficult to have a productive postdoc while having children.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

Don't wait as long as I did!
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Women PhDs in academia can take advantage of the flexible work schedule while raising their families. For example, I did more work in the evenings, after the kids were asleep, to make up for the time I couldn't spend at work. It is essential to have a supportive spouse/partner who understands the home sacrifices that must be made to continue your career, and who is willing to help you achieve those goals (e.g. my husband offered to take the day off from his work when our nanny was ill and couldn't care for the kids on the day my grant was due; similarly he did many of my usual duties when I needed to go to meetings or give outside seminars). It's not easy to get everything done well, but it is possible to make a nice life for you and your family.
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

The only thing I wanna say is that: if You wanna be successful in both your career and your family, you have to keep attention to your time and how you can best. Also knowing that, it will be a small period of time and then my kids will grow up and also my career will be more stable, helped me to get through the difficult moments
  --mom of 2, postdoc

No scientific work can compare to the joy of raising children. Children both shrink and open your world in new ways. Walking a toddler around the block puts everything into a different perspective, which is exciting (and stifling). As my children grew, I learned all sorts of new things about where I lived, about sports, art and music, and about life. I am a better scientist, teacher and person because of it. When my children were small, our life was work and kids. We were exhausted. Getting the grocery shopping done and food on the table was a miracle. It was also incredible fun seeing their minds work and watching them grow, so totally worth it. I would like to share some advice: 1. Get help! You can't afford NOT to (so get a housecleaner, have groceries delivered or get pre-cooked meals, whatever you need to stay sane and spend the time you want to with your kids). 2. Invest in your marriage. Take a parents night out or weekend away so you remember at least a few times a year why you got married. 3. Take care of yourself. If your own needs aren't attended to, you can't be a good parent. 4. Create a local family to share kids, driving, and as a source of emotional support. I found it best if they weren't associated with the University.
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

The key to me is to have an understanding and helpful partner who can share the chores and burdens.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

It will not be possible if I didn't have the live-in help from my parents-in-law.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I have had to be much more efficient. But I was close to tenured to have kids which has given me more flexibility. Less stress because had enough to get tenure. I stay home one day a wk, but work nights and weekends to compensate. The more advanced career is more travel required. Makes it very hard to keep advancing when you have to leave kids. Gotten very comfortable asking for breaks and rooms for pumping and bringing babies on trips (with nannies).
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

As a first-year tenure-track faculty member, I was a little nervous that there would be repercussions for having a child before tenure. However, my department and university have been very supportive (e.g., by offering a semester of teaching relief), making it much easier to balance my work and family responsibilities.
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

Tough road. I remember I made friends with a social worker who was experiencing same types of things as I was regarding response from leadership and other colleagues. We never in our work used childcare needs as excuses for having to leave early etc. Luckily we had husbands who could help out with our schedule. She had a child that had to be hospitalized and she never told her superior--she and her husband worked out the care quietly but it was a terrible burden. I remember being on an interdisciplinary committee that was dominated by males (one other female) and it was so hard when they would set meetings to start at 5pm or later. I had to make arrangements for someone to children from child care (usually my husband) or if he couldn't do it I would just say I had another obligation . Then as years went on and some of the men became fathers, they easily said when it came to late afternoon and early evening meetings that they had to go home for childcare responsibilities. Their needs were acknowledged but if we as women had done that we would not have been received as positively. So in that respect I think there is more gender equity now than 20 years ago but maybe not.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

That said, the best parts about being an academic and a parent is the flexibility & stability academics affords. It is a great job to have with kids-- especially once you are tenured. (after tenure I actually work more but am less stressed and therefore, a more emotionally "available" parent)
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I spent most of my 20s in graduate school, and then trying to get my research program up and running as a new professor. I often worry that the opportunity to get married and have a family will pass me by.
  --mom of 0, untenured professor

My oldest child is 14 and I still find that balancing chidren and wrok is the hardest part of my job. If anyone has a good solution I am all ears!
  --mom of 4, tenured professor

This is a more challenging experience than I ever could have imagined.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

There is never a good time to do it, but I think that graduate school (if you can afford it) is the best time. This way your kids are a little older when you are doing your post-doc (the time when your career is more "make or break")
  --mom of 2, postdoc

The academic job market is awful - with or without a family. Maybe fear and uncertainty as to stability of our position has been holding us back.
  --mom of 0, tenured professor

Having a support network makes it possible. Not sure it could be done otherwise.
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

I wish it were possible to step off and then back on the academic path. Being with my children when they were young was really important to me. But I honestly can't see a way to get back into teaching once they are in school. Who would hire me? Who would be impressed by my ancient academic credentials or my current "mommy" ones?
  --mom of 2, Not in workforce

Being divorced and having full custody leaves me as the only parent for my child. As a tenure track professor, I am expected to produce as white males with no children concerns have done traditionally. The academic system is not built around family needs. The subject matter that minority, immigrant people bring to the table is not evaluated as significant as mainstream social science concerns. It takes additional time just to justify the work we do. While others with privilege never have to justify anything.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

I think it is extremely hard and difficult. The comment has to been made to me that I had a baby in this postdoc and it shows. I think it biases people against you in a way it wouldn't if you were a man. There is currently no daycare on our campus which would be a huge help as much of my child/work-related stress revolves about childcare hours and getting to meetings, etc on time and having to stop a really productive day to go and pick up the kids. Or not start the day early enough because school doesn't start until 9 and as a postdoc I don't make enough to pay for both before and after school care. The flexibility of the schedule is great because if a kid is sick I can easily go and pick them up, but then I pay for that lost time later. I think being a mother makes me a well-rounded grounded researcher, but I sacrifice time with my family to do so. There is no such thing as a part-time tenure-track position nor is there is protection for postdocs and maternity leave (paid or unpaid). How can I focus on nursing and bonding with my baby when I'm worried about not getting paid for 6 weeks? And in all reality 6 weeks is not enough time to come back and be a productive member of academia. I think there needs to be more support in place for women PhDs with children so their careers don't suffer at the expense of their family. I want my time with my family to focus on them and not feel like the whole time I need to be working and should be working.
  --mom of 3, postdoc

My husband did not approve of me getting a PhD with a child, and that is one of the major reasons why we got divorced. When I decided to do it on my own, people said I was CRAZY. Now that I am going into my 4th year and writing my dissertation, I agree with them 100%! But there is no way in hell I am turning back now.
  --mom of 1, postdoc

This is a half-changed world where the opportunities for women have increased but the responsibilities of home and childcare have largely remained the same. Colleges and Universities need to step it up - many of the tenure requirements were created for men with wives - I would bet my life on the fact that if I had a wife, I would be tenured . . . EARLY!!!!!!!
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

I have a very supportive department, but still only get the time off I have in sick leave, which is about 4 weeks (paid--but who can take 4 months of UNPAID family leave??). I am starting a new administrative position right about when the baby is due. I don't know how that dean will be in terms of support. So far, so good. Thank God I have a partner who is also an academic so that we can try to do the academic handoff. We worked out opposite schedules worked out and we'll see.
  --expecting 1, tenured professor

At my college there is no maternity leave, therefore, you have to take unpaid leave while staying home with your newborn. I believe all colleges/universities should give women maternity leave.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

We are very lucky to be in a career path that allows for working at home. However, if your mentor or department chair is not comfortable with this, the one perk of academia (in my opinion) is gone. Even if your mentor is comfortable with you working from home before the baby comes, they may change their feelings about this after the baby is born. My mentor was fine with me working at home on papers before I gave birth, but didn't trust that I was actually working from home after my baby was born. I don't know how to make someone trust that I am working other than to show progress in manuscripts and grants, and even that has not been satisfactory in my mentors eyes. I guess I just need to stop trying to please everyone, but I have almost been fired this year, despite being more productive than before my baby was born. I never expected this, and I feel like it is discriminatory.
  --mom of 2, postdoc

I thought whenI was younger that I should wait to have kids till I was more settled in my career. If I had to do it again I would have kids before I was 28 for several reasons: 1) women at 35+ have more child birth problems (like I did) even when totally healthy. 2) if you are already 40 by the time your kids are 5+ and in school your brain has a harder time getting back to doing truely innovative work. Getting back on track is easier when you are younger (if you are not completely derailed). 3) however, if one is not very determined there is a risk that having a break of focus on career for 4-5 years (even if one is working/studying for a PhD the whole time) could permanently alter your career path.
  --mom of 1, Academia - non tenure track

I personally think all women should get paid maternity leave, with professors needing minimum of one semester leave paid due to the academic calendar. I unfortunately was not fortunate enough to have this kind of benefit with either child.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

We are not put on the planet to make department chairs, deans, and journal editors happy. Although I'm not entirely sure WHY we're on this planet, I found I thoroughly enjoyed making my sons smile, and my department chair, not so much. So, if you are lucky enough to have a family, count your blessings and your children's fingers and toes, and smile. Work will be there tomorrow. And the next day, and the next... but one day your children will move away. Our lifepsans are finite. Make the most of each moment you're given.
  --mom of 4, tenured professor

I think I've been very lucky to have the amount of personal and professional support I've received as a new parent and new faculty. That said, the fact that I think of it as "luck," speaks to how inhospitable the climate remains, generally, for young parents on the tenure track.
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

It is very difficult to find a way to balance it all. I constantly feel guilty about spending too much time on work, even though I know that academia actually affords more time flexibility than most jobs and I do stay home with my kids two full days per week. I just started a tenure-track job and am reaching out to other mothers in academia for advice about how to survive and maybe even thrive as a mom and an assistant professor.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

It's just hard, especially if you are doing it alone without a spouse and without family nearby and our jobs often take us to places far from our families.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

Luckily, I teach in a very family friendly department and have very family friendly colleagues. Having young children, however, necessitates creativity on my part in the sense that the job offers flexibility, but at the same time, you have to figure out where to carve in the hours that you took away from the traditional work week. So I work on weekends, for examples, or work at night after the kids are in bed. This can be very stressful.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

Although my advisor was supportive of me having a family, there were no special resources to support graduate student parents. There was not even a regular dialogue that there were special challenges. Mostly, I felt like I was working less because I had children, and that it wasn't entirely okay. Unless I was talking to another graduate student parent, I didn't tend to talk about my children, the impact they had on my working life, etc. I think what I tried to do was act, behave, and produce like a typical graduate student and deal with all the additional stresses of having children on my own. It was hard.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I think it's important to consider issues of race in these studies. Daycare should be a valid line item in grant applications. Family friendly policies should extend before assistant prof to grad student and post doc but also after to associate profs who currently don't have "stop the clock" option
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

I would not trade my decision to have children for a more rigorous or fulfilling research career (the trade off I ended up making). I think there is no right or wrong time to have children. However, given the relatively limited time frame of fertility (one that overlaps with educational training and professional progress), NOT making a decision to have children can end up being functionally the same as making a decision to NOT have children.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I have found that an additional stress is not the front I put on for colleagues but the one I put on for female graduate students. I find myself to be a rare species (junior professor with a child) and I'm often awed by graduate students. I want them to know that it's difficult but not impossible.
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

It was difficult enough to endure pregnancy and infants while in graduate school. I don't know how women on the tenure-track survive it.
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

Quality day care is a major challenge and it puts women at a real disadvantage in the academic world. How can we be expected to choose between meeting what seems to be impossible standards for tenure or being a good parent. This is not a sustainable solution for a society that recognizes the importance of early childhood experiences.
  --mom of 3, untenured professor

Looking back on my career (my youngest child is now in college), I did not feel that having children was negatively impacting my career, but it did. I made choices not to travel much at all, not to host symposia, etc until my children were into high school -- so many years. My research and grants did not suffer, but national visibility probably did. I am making up for lost time now. I absolutely do NOT regret my choices, I earned tenure and have succeeded in the local environment and have been happy with that level of success.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I am in the US and not in my native Germany because there, I was told clearly: You have a child, you have better things to do than a Professorship. It was acceptable in the US, but not in Germany.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

It feels so medieval to work in a profession where there is no way to coast for a few years or opt out for at least a year and come back to the same position.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

don't wait until the end of your biological clock to have children if you really want them. i wish had had the time to have more.
  --mom of 1, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

I wish i have some maternity paid time for my kids.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

It is definitely more difficult for women having children than for men. But I also think that this is true in every occupation - whether banker, lawyer or scientist. The keys for me were 1) a supportive and equal partner relationship with my spouse and 2) a supportive (male) boss.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

My daughter is a blessing but it is clear that my workload increased exponentially. Now that she is in school, I'm responsible for homework, spiritual development, and most entertainment. My husband is an entrepreneur. What this means is that I have to find creative ways on the weekend for her to be occupied so I can get work done until he gets home to assist.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

Having a supportive partner who did his share of the child care made it much easier.
  --mom of 2, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

I couldn't wait until I had tenure to have a baby so I did it in grad school. if I hadn't taken a non-academic job, a 2nd child would be impossible.
  --mom of 1, R&D, industry or nonprofit

I think it is important for women collectively to make the academic environment more family friendly. However, as an individual woman, focus on how you can make it work. Do not dwell on the barriers. Everyone has barriers. Make sure not to let family be your justification for why things are not working.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Having children makes high-level academic productivity more difficult, no doubt. But that doesn't keep me up at night. Working mother guilt will get you more, but I just remember that I am a better mom because I have my own intellectual pursuits and goals, and a mother who follows her own path is one of many possible good role models for my children.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

More so than any other profession I know of, academia feels like a hostile environment to be a parent. My sense is that it is perceived as an indulgence, and communicates a lack of seriousness about one's career. I feel like having children is something I should apologize for, and that rather than receive relief from work as a result, I should work even harder to show that I am still serious about my career.
  --mom of 1, postdoc

This would never have worked if my spouse and I did not share the same perspective on having children. We both viewed having children as something we would both commit to fully and equally. But as a result, both of our careers have been slowed, and we're both tired from being overworked.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

Biological clocks ( having a baby in your 30's or before 40's) are not really adjusted to the demands of academia .
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

my family is my first priority and i will not compromise that. upon completing my postdoc, finding a career that will allow for that is of the utmost importance to me.
  --mom of 1, postdoc

I have a great situation - secure job, good childcare. I wish everyone had it so good. My boss understands when I cannot do odd hours or have to leave. He supports volunteering occasionally at the daycare and leaving for sports activities. I try to return the favor by using my time well.
  --mom of 2, R&D, industry or nonprofit

I believe that women who are considering having/raising children while pursuing their Ph.D. should feel that they have all the rights to pursue a family that men pursuing doctorates have. For me, my growing family gave me the warmth and happiness the Ph.D. process did not. I am glad I pursued both, but having children was the more rewarding of the two. It literally saved me.
  --mom of 3, postdoc

I like how my postdoc mentor decided on this: she actually told the women in the lab to have their kids now, whether they were a grad student or postdoc. It would be hard to have them later, when you were an assistant professor. Now, I have known women who have done this but this is hard and I would not recommend it.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

I think having a child, for me, was wonderful, but my life is nuts! I am disappointed in our current work culture doesn't allow a more happy and sane medium between a parent and working.
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

In my case, the father left during the pregnancy and has never wanted to interact or contribute. I can no longer work long hours. Having a family is definitely worth it but when my production is being compared to those with stay at home wifes who work 60 to 80 hours a week, it bothers me. I simply cannot fit that many hours in my schedule and I don't believe it is fair to expect it to be the norm.
  --mom of 1, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

Women who have PhDs are obviously motivated and creative individuals. It is possible to channel those traits in order to successfully balance work and home life. I am also fortunate to have a husband who helps equally in child rearing. And people always comment about how extremely happy our girls seem, so we must be doing something right!
  --mom of 2, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

In spite of working less, getting less sleep, and getting no "me" time, having my daughter is completely worth it. Spending time with her makes me happier than anything else in the world. On days when I am frustrated at work or when I am delighted at work, I am always happier when I get home and see my daughter. I love my daughter and I love my work but it is very very hard to combine both. I wish I could find a job that was intellectually stimulating and only required working about 45 hours a week.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

The EPA has been a really great place to work while trying to raise a family. My schedule is extremely flexible and I only work about 45 hours/week. When I told my supervisor that I was pregnant with my second, he said that his biggest concern was that I would try to come back too quickly or take on too much after the baby is born. I feel like I have so many of the perks of academia (research, flexible schedule), but without the tenure pressure, the long work hours, and the competitiveness. And, after I'm here 3 years, I'll have the option to work part time (32 hours/week)!
  --mom of 1, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

Having kids in graduate school rather than after graduate school has worked out great for me. However, I'm older than most grad students (I worked for 5+ years before returning to school) AND my advisor does NOT have kids and has NOT made this process easy by any means. Women should make sure that their situation with their advisor is supportive or be prepared to handle an unsupportive advisor.
  --mom of 2, postdoc

It's hard but I wouldn't take another path if I had to choose again.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I think so much depends on the personality of the mom and the dad. My partner is a great dad but he would never be a stay at home dad. I could definitely imagine being a stay at home mom but I think it is important to maintain a career for myself. However, balancing how important that career is and how important spending time with my family is, can be extremely difficult. I would never be content with someone else being the primary caregiver to my child, even my husband, as I covet the role and the experience. This makes my particular situation more difficult. It is also more difficult to move the family around from post-doc to eventual job the more kids you have and the older they are. Mine son is young but it would be hard to remove him from his grandparents just so I could work a slightly "better" postdoc somewhere else. There are more trade-offs because there are more people to consider.
  --mom of 1, postdoc

For "time off", first of all it wasn't time off, it was time at home recovering from a C-section, nursing 8h/day, and holding a colicky baby! Secondly, I took 10 weeks paid leave spread out over 12 weeks, which had a lot of advantages. For "child care options in 1st 2 years", I indicated "partner worked part-time". This was only part of it; I also worked from home 1 day a week. This was a great solution for us, and I found myself able to be fairly productive; once you know you have to do it, you can often save up 8h worth of work each week that can be done in the presence of a child.
  --mom of 1, Academia - non tenure track

In some ways non-tenured academia is great for having children because work hours are flexible and part time work is ok. On the other hand, it can be really hard to stay motivated and on top of the field when split between family and children. Where I am at now (very male dominated lab), no one is against having children. But there is also no support (emotional or financial) when one does have them.
  --mom of 3, Academia - non tenure track

Despite all our efforts at equality, my situation has proved to me that my husband & I are not interchangeable when it comes to housework and kids. In spite of his efforts to become comfortable cooking & cleaning, it just doesn't come as naturally to him as to me. Nursing is obviously something he can't do for the babies (much as he might like to!), but even the 3- & 7-year-olds still want Mama and not Daddy sometimes. I think these are fundamental realities caused by human biology, and things I think (anecdotally) lots of couples are dealing with. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do it all! It does mean we have to be realistic, though. I'm learning to accept simpler meals, stains on laundry, and a messy house - in return, I have three healthy, delightful children, a great marriage, and an exciting career that I love. Not a bad deal!
  --mom of 3, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

Balancing children and a professional career is difficult but worthwhile if attention can be paid to both. I am currently focusing on my children (at the risk of slowing down my career) because they are only young once. My philosophy is that I have the rest of my life to build my career once they get older.
  --mom of 2, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

My employer actually does allow for a few weeks of paid leave, but because I was starting a job six weeks after the birth of my daughter, I could have arrived a semester later (unpaid) but could not have had paid leave.
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

Seems like everyone's path is different and figuring out what is best for me is an ongoing process. I am grateful for having lots of flexibility with my schedule so that I am full time but able to spend a day or two a week at home with the kids, though the pace at times can be exhausting.
  --mom of 2, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

Develop a healthy work-life balance, throw away the bad conscience (have your thoughts and body at work or with the kids at one time), accept that progress might be slower, you will still get there. Keep one hobby for your own space and remember to kiss your partner.
  --mom of 2, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

I see the problem bigger than just academia. We really have to start thinking about what the expectations are regarding tenure, publishing, etc. Family policies that don't push a rethinking of the current reward system in academia will never goes as far as they need.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

I believe it is very difficult to manage the tenure track process with children and a working spouse. However, there are things about an academic job that make it easier (autonomy, can work nights and weekends, etc).
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

I weaned my first child at 22 months in order to attend a huge academic meeting in my field. While there, I met women who had weaned at 6 weeks and at 5 months in order to attend. It was striking to me that we had each drawn the line in a different place. In later years, I have seen more women doctoral students bring their infants (and spouses) along, so that they can continue nursing and not let the professional meeting disrupt that aspect of mothering.
  --mom of 3, Academia - non tenure track

I started a doctoral program as a single mother with two small children. It made me feel alienated from the single males who dominated my area, and it was amazingly stressful. However, over time I found some balance, and raising children while being a PhD student turned out well for them and me. I remarried as a post doc and considered having another child, but haven't gotten around to it! Many women faculty mentioned that having kids as a post doc was easier than having them as a grad student or while on the tenure clock, but my situation was unique and it worked out well!
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

Families need back up and more back up childcare options. Since most academics don't really choose where their job is, many are far from extended family and the assistance they might provide.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

It is very difficult to raise children while trying to get tenure!!!
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

Be certain about your personal goals and priorities. After my post-doc, when I was offered a faculty position, I accepted, but told my chair I would only work 30 hours/week while my children were small. He accepted this. I think if women state their decisions about what they want to do without hesitation, others will allow for flexibility.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

Everyone is going to do it differently. The range of choices about returning to work or not need to be respected and supported. I have found the most judgemental attitudes to come from other women. I am also very glad I had kids in New Zealand, because the law is relatively supportive, compared to, say, the US.
  --mom of 1, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

The profession is structured around a fairly limitless work schedule. Before I had a child I really worked all the time. I have mixed feelings about this. I don't miss working all the time. My child is the joy of my life. I also experience the frustration of modified ambitions and reduced productivity. Intellectual work has an affective component and provides satisfaction of its own. In some ways I feel disappointed that this has changed for me. I have had to adjust to a totally different affective reality in both my professional and personal life. I have had to adjust to reduced feelings of success in both--especially with regard to parenting where "success" is not an accurate measure of outcomes. I'm wayyy less the bad ass I used to be.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

I actually think academia is a very flexible place for a female PhD with children to work compared with other professions such as medical doctor/nurse, police officer, lawyer as far as day-to-day activities go. That is, I don't have to ask a boss to leave early to take my kid to the doctor, or use vacation days when I have to stay home with a sick child. But unlike other jobs, for which a person on leave can really be on leave, academia is inflexible in the sense that one cannot really take off a chunk of time without having the career suffer.
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

I worked full time when my children were younger and my husband could contribute equally to them. He is now in an administrative position, so I have to work part-time because his schedule is not flexible. This has been a bigger barrier to my work and career progress than the children themselves.
  --mom of 3, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

The joy of having children has no comparison to any career. But especially in academia and women of color having children is still a liability. The stigma of children being in the way persists because of lack of understanding and acceptance in academia.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

Marry well! A supportive husband who is willing to take major parental responsibility is so essential to a successful career. However, bear in mind that in any marriage, your partner may have inflexible demands at certain times, and you just have to adjust. Enjoy raising your children--it should be an important part of your life as is your work.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

While having kids and doing a Ph.D. is definitely do-able, in my experience one little thing that is out of the normal experience can really mess everything up. My first, a daughter, was super easy and healthy so we were excited to have a second and build our family. My son got sick at 2 weeks which led to a year of sicknesses and nearly cost me my career...I'm not sure yet if it has or not because I'm still fighting to get back on track.
  --mom of 2, postdoc

It's a VERY difficult decision and issue - to work out timing of children and career. I pretty much decided, towards the end of my doctoral work, that I did not want a tenure track position because I was in my mid-30's and knew I would want to start a family. I did not want to give up my personal/family life for 7-10 years in order to focus on tenure. So I am now a senior lecturer (teaching position) at a university. I do miss research, but I'm overall happy with my choice.
  --mom of 0, Academia - non tenure track

Overall, academia has been a great choice. My schedule is very flexible, and I even brought my first child to my office on occasion. Furthermore, a traditional job would have been impossible with my third son's long hospitalization. However, I have not been able to work anywhere close to the 60 hrs/wk that the job demands, not for almost two years. It is catching up with me and my work performance is suffering. (This would most likely be true for any job I would have, and my child-care situation is highly unusual.)
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

The thing that is hardest for me in balancing motherhood and academia is sleep. My child sleeps less than most kids his age. Since he gets up so early, I must go to bed early. This means I don't get work done in the evening. Since I also have to leave work to pick him up at daycare, this really limits how much work I can get done in a day. I am no longer able to work long hours on a project to get it done. I am also always tired. I am really hoping this changes when my son gets older!
  --mom of 1, untenured professor

Having a supportive and equal share partner has been very important. There is never any "easy" time to have kids and so we did what we thought was right for us. Both times we have been on the job market (we are a dual academic science career couple) we have had an infant. It is a good litmus test for potential employers.
  --mom of 2, tenured professor

It amazes me how much I don't get accomplished since I have children to take care of. From being pregnant to having a small child, everything takes a toll on my research. However, nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids at the end of the day.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

We have to make sure we keep stay fit after children has grown so we can catch up. Exercise is important. When children are small, we have to think children first.
  --mom of 2, R&D, industry or nonprofit

There is never an optimum time to have kids. Do not give up your maternity leave, you need this time with your baby.
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

Its very difficult. It affects work productivity.
  --mom of 1, postdoc

The unexpected coming of our second child, due in December, has dramatically altered my career plans. Prior to this, I had been considering obtaining a post-doc at the federal lab where I previously worked. However, I don't feel that I can return to work right now with two very young children. I completed my PhD a few weeks ago and really don't know when or how I will be able to re-enter the work force. I am concerned about having a multi-year gap in my career, especially so recently after completing my degree, but I hope that I can re-enter the work force at least part-time when my oldest is able to begin school and the youngest is old enough for preschool. In the meantime, I would like to publish my dissertation research in at least two papers. (the question now lies in who will pay for it!) In contrast, my husband's career has not been seriously disrupted by our decision to have children. He has been able to maintain his tenure-track position and is now the sole income producer for our family. I know that a two or three year gap in a career will be small in the long-term 35- or 40-year picture, but it comes at a time when scientists typically define themselves, obtain lifetime positions, and are generally most productive. In this sense, my career may be permanently affected by the choice to stay home with our children, but I feel that they are owed the energy and attention of a full-time parent, especially in these early and formative years.
  --mom of 1, Not in workforce

It is very difficult to perform higher functioning brain activity like manuscript writing during the first ~year post partum while sleep is still interrupted nightly. I find I get through the days, but the real research is put on the back burner.
  --mom of 2, untenured professor

just stay focus on your family and your work. it can be done.
  --mom of 2, R&D, industry or nonprofit

Wouldn't have it any other way: love kids and love working but having a cooperative spouse would help!
  --mom of 4, untenured professor

I am very glad I am able to support my family. It is also good for my kids to see me doing important work.
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

Women with PhDs need to continue having children AND working full time in science. Otherwise, the culture will never change.
  --mom of 2, R&D, industry or nonprofit

I wish I had not waited so long to have children. With fieldwork and job insecurity it seemed impossible.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

I wish I would have done more "research" on little ones to know what to do when he came!
  --mom of 1, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

Ultimately I'm glad I have a family to keep a good perspective on life (which a number of folks I know without kids seem to lack). Plus, it's a hoot (now that grad school is ending and I somehow survived it all). I wouldn't do it again in the same way. It was too big a price to pay for me. But I've chosen a different route this time and I know I'll be able to appreciate every minute of getting a new child much more this time.
  --mom of 1, other occupation (e.g. govt. lab, self employed)

I consider the time during the PhD a good time to have the first child. Doing this properly shows future employers, that you will not stay home after having a child, but continue with your work.
  --mom of 1, postdoc

It is not impossible. But it is demanding on all, especially if (like me) you have no family nearby to help out on short notices. For me, the critical aspect has been the partnership of my spouse. I could not have done this without his support. Furthermore, one's expectations must be realistic. I am reasonably satisfied at my university, and have been able to have 3 kids and tenure here. However, if one is driven to become a member of the NAS and a chair at the most prestigious university, then family life may acquire a secondary role. I hesitate to write this, but I do wonder it. What is more important: life balance, or professional accolades? Are they achievable simultaneously?
  --mom of 3, tenured professor

I'm frustrated that there is no "right" time for a woman to have a baby in academia. Grad school, post-doc, pre-tenure and post-tenure all have their complications. I waited until I was too old (personally) to have my first baby--but I don't think (psychologically) I could have handled the stress before I had tenure either.
  --mom of 1, tenured professor

Think about what you and your spouse are willing to give up in order to have the time to really enjoy your family. Remember, something will have to give. It's best, for me, if we both give as much as we can, rather than having just one of us give it all. It's hard to pull off in the work climate here, though. We both take flack at work for wanting to have a balanced life.
  --mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

A science PhD is a very specific degree that often does not directly translate into the professional work force. Although I have looked for work broadly, I find my options surprisingly limited. I feel that, for the most part, I have only been seriously considered for teaching courses as an adjunct with no benefits or job security.
  --mom of 1, Academia - non tenure track

"I'm currently pregnant (only a couple months). I finished my PhD in 2009. I wanted to have a tenure track job before I got pregnant, but I/we can't wait.[]"
   -- without children, Academia - non tenure track

"I faced bullying and hostile work environment from other women."
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"I think it becomes quite challenging to raise children while you're doing a PhD or right after - not impossible but challenging. Especially with people (family/friends) constantly asking you and reminding you that as a woman you don't have all the time you'd want. I'd only wish people wouldn't do that. I do want children but right after my PhD is not a good time for time and that is my decision."
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"Completing my doctorate but not continuing on the faculty career path was the best decision of my professional life. Library work is far more family friendly than the tenure track."
   -- mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

"During my prime years of being a Ph.D. student, I was away in the States (I am Israeli), with no partner. I met my husband after the degree was completed. The male graduate students around me all had their wives with them, and started a family while completing their degree..."
   -- without children, untenured professor

"As a graduate student, my program was extremely flexible and understanding about the whole process. I had complications with the birth and had to take extra time off. My advisor and committee were very supportive and encouraging; both took time to strongly encourage me to finish."
   -- mom of 1, Academia - non tenure track

"I feel I don't have the time and energy resources a child would require."
   -- without children, untenured professor

"As you probably know: it just sucks that the instensive career-launching and family-launching periods usually collide (about early thirties). This is not a problem for women to juggle/balance, it's a problem of institutions still assuming a breadwinner-homemaker family model that's largely obsolete. Degendering careers and parenting is a tall order, but both must happen if we're going to get men and women on an equal footing (at work and at home)."
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/non-research

"cost me a lot, professionally. This survey does not allow you to say you had NO maternity leave. Nonl is different from less than three weeks. Survey assumes everyone gets maternity leave."
   -- mom of 2

"Generally speaking the maternity leave is too short in the united states. There was also no option for me to come back parttime, which I would have chosen had it been an option. "
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I think revising a pretty outdated model for tenure is imperative. Working mothers have great demands on them, but so do many others who, for example, might be caretakers of elderly parents. Or both! Automatic tenure is not appropriate, but timetables, suspicion of "gaps," leave structures, and publication requirements now that the academic book publishing industry is in crisis, and so on, can be critically revised to maintain the ideal of merit and productivity without pushing out those who don't have some kind of 1960s normative family support structure."
   -- mom of 2, untenured professor

"My children are now 20 and 19. [] Having them young and starting my career later turned out to be great. I have lots of time to focus on work now."
   -- mom of 2, untenured professor

"I'm actually planning to [start trying to] get pregnant in a few months. So none of the last question's answers are quite right for me."
   -- without children

"I went to university to study for my BSc after I had my first 3 children, I then followed this with a PhD, I was a single parent for all this time. It was really tough, but I'm so glad that I did it because I would never have had the career that I have now if I had not."
   -- mom of 4, Academia - non tenure track

"I was in the fortunate position that I had my academic post before coming pregnant. Academia is a very flexible place to be -once you have tenure- to raise a family. When I went back to work full time, I took one day a week off to spend with my son for a year, making the hours up in the evenings, and no-one minded (indeed, no-one noticed!). It is a very flexible career, conducive to having a family, once you get past the hurdles of a) finishing a phd and b) getting "the" job. I feel immensely more priveleged and lucky than my friends who work in the city, or as lawyers, or in business, etc, who do not have the flexible hours, and job satisfaction, or the number of holidays, than I have. I'm very lucky, its a great position to be in. "
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"[] Planning on having kids on my own. While I'm technically a post-doc, I'm better paid than most and in a semi-permanent position. While I think it's harder to be a single mother and an academic (because of the salary), I think in many ways the academic lifestyle is more suited to parenting than my original career []."
   -- without children, Academia - Postdoc

"All in all, it is very demanding to have both career and kids to care for."
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I opted out of tenure track and full time work deliberately so that I could have a family and have quality time with my child. I was old enough that I did not want to postpone having a child until I had tenure, and I wasn't sure that I wanted that lifestyle anyway. I am quite happy working part-time and "composing a life" that suits me and gives me time to see my child grow up."
   -- mom of 1, Academia - non tenure track

"Living as close as possible to work has helped me maximize time either at work or home."
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"It was very hard, almost impossible, for me to work on my research when I stayed at home taking care of my baby since he required my full attention. But I do not regret these months."
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"Question #4 (do you think you might have another kid in the future) really needs more categories. Some days the answer is yes, some days it is no. A lot of days I say that tenure is my next kid and then we'll decide if we'll have another "real" kid. With two academic careers it's too hard to know at this point where we'll be in the future, so whether or not to have another kid is really not a yes/no question right now."
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"The PhD took so much time and focus that I feel like I was unable to think much about my personal life during the last 6 years. These also happen to have been the prime child-bearing years of my life. I'm [] now and having finished the PhD, beginning to think about finding a partner and having children. However, with the two-body problem, and the very limited and location-specific job prospects for PhDs, I'm finding myself having to choose between my career and relationships. "
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I was fortunate to have a Chairperson who allowed flexibility. I cannot imagine having had children while a post-doc or Asst. Professor, as so many women I know have done."
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"Having a child means being mommy tracked. I'm not up for that."
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"Having a supportive department and spouse makes all the difference. "
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"Having a PhD has nothing to do with my choices in having children. I have never had any desire to have children, regardless of what my career choice would have been. I feel that you, as a female, are expected to want to have children and when you don't people will argue a great deal with you to convince you that you are wrong, and "you'll come around" etc. I think it would be more interesting to investigate why people regard it so unnatural and so wrong to not want to have children, than to assume that women in academia or women with careers do not have children bcause they put career first, or because their jobs won't allow them to have children. Some people just don't want to have kids. And it would be nice to not be considered to be unnatural, or someone who "will come around when you get older" just because you have no interest in reproducing. "
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I think PhD women who have children work 3 jobs---their full time job, their job raising their family, and their external professional commitments."
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/non-research

"My husband and I tag-team parent to ensure each of us can publish and meet our research timelines."
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I would discourage women from having children while pursuing their PhD especially when their spouse is in academia and going through the tenure process. Sometimes things don't work as planned..I never imagined I would have twins and all the health issues. I would recommend really focusing on career during the prime period 24-30 and then have kids after that. I did go back to a career but never went back to research...so in a way I feel all the great work I did was wasted."
   -- mom of 3

"I think many women feel torn between their careers and their children. They need to know how to manage their time, take a lot of hired help, spend time with the kids every afternoon and on family vacations. The kids grow up with a mom who is content about her career and it makes them appreciate and even take an example."
   -- mom of 3, untenured professor

"Thanks for studying this VERY important topic. Its a bitch being a mom and working in academia -- especially pre-tenure."
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"Everyone has a different experience. I had quite different experiences for my first child and my second child. The most important thing is having the right people who are willing to help. Family is best, but others are also possible. It's also important to always remember that having children is a joy not a burden. Good luck to everyone! And thank you very much to the survey organizers."
   -- mom of 2, untenured professor

"My chair at the time was very enlightened about childrearing and took it upon himself to give me what I wanted/needed. I was part time for a while, flexible each semester, which was wonderful. Finally, with two children I noted I was working more than 40 hours a week anyway so went full time everafter. I am very good at juggling things and using any 10 min segment I have."
   -- mom of 4, tenured professor

"I think this is hard no matter what, frankly, but the travel aspect of attending conferences I find the most challenging and as a result I still feel pretty disconnected from my field."
   -- mom of 1

"Don't wait until after you finish your degree--it is not any easier then--it's harder."
   -- without children, Academia - non tenure track

"I know it is challenging, but most of the women I know who have children seem to be managing quite gracefully."
   -- without children, tenured professor

"It is very stressful to balance a 60-hour-a week job with having young children. Daycare is a literal life saver, and having an accessible, affordable and reliable daycare center around is absolutely necessary. If the children are not well taken care of, there is no career for mom."
   -- mom of 3, tenured professor

"Two babies, two tenures -- with no time off the clock, no maternity leave at all with the first baby, unexpectedly horrible second pregnancy ... BUT our institution has been extremely supportive throughout, and loving WHAT we do makes up for a lot of the sleeplessness and stress. We have never had a honeymoon or vacation, and we do not do any leisure activities (fun time with the kids is exclusively grocery shopping and other errands). But we all love one another and really have a great life (although with all the conference travel, our sons have been to about 25 cites they've never actually SEEN -- airport, taxi, hotel, taxi, airport!"
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"I started the PhD with 2 children ages 4 and 2. The first 2 years were REALLY hard, and I was able to get through them only with a very supportive husband. But we all suffered from it -- since I was working nights and weekends to get through the coursework and relearning how to do research given I was out of school for 4 years before going back to gradschool."
   -- mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

"I got my PhD fairly young. I'm currently 30 and 2 years into my tenure-track position, and actually just got married this year, so we hadn't really had the opportunity to have kids yet, so I wouldn't say that we've necessarily held off kids because of our careers. We suspect that we'll start to have kids in a few years, just before we have to submit our cases for tenure (my husband is also a tenure-track faculty member) and after we've had a chance to be married a few years."
   -- without children, untenured professor

"My decision of having only one child was closely related to the stage of my academic career. To begin with, I delayed my pregnancy for at least three years because I wanted to make a good progress in the doctoral program before being a mom. What i did not know at that time was that being a professor in tenure-track was more demanding work than being a doctoral student. I really did not know. I thought that I could have my second child when I get a "job." It turned out that it was not a just job, and I could not imagine having two kids to take care of during my tenure track. When i finally earn my tenure, I was already in early 40s, I figured out it's too late. I somehow think that if I had my second child during tenure-track, I would not earned tenure (probably). So, I always feel that it's a compromise (hard one!) I had to make. I think that I chose my career over a large family. I don't have any regret because I gave so much thought into it. But, I know that if I did not choose academia, I am sure that I would have more children. "
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"Part of the problem is that we have a 2-body household. We wanted to wait until everyone had their PhD and now that that has been done, we are waiting to make enough money such that we can afford decent childcare since we both plan on returning to work. The university we currently work at does not have any on campus day-care nor is it overly family friendly. I don't know of a lactation room on campus and there is no quiet place to go within my building for such matters. "
   -- without children, Academia - Postdoc

"I'm not sure whether we will have another child- it somewhat depends on how my career progresses in the next couple of years. That's why I left that question blank."
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"1. I love having a family. I would not change it for anything. For me, the best thing about being with kids has something in common with the best thing about being an academic: opportunity to explore one's[/facilitate the kid's exploring their] curiosity and creativity in an untrammeled way. 2. I found it extremely hard returning to work, but felt that would be a waste of my training not to do so. 3. I worry about the economics/ethics of professional women (and men) buying in many hours of childcare from less well-paid women (usually), in order to be able to do their jobs. Who takes care of the childcarers' children? I also feel that a lot of time and energy can go into managing the separation from one's children -- getting them ready to go to childcare, travelling to/from childcare, time spent worrying about/missing them, etc. I wish the workplace was flexible enough to allow more creative solutions than this separation: academic parents swapping childcare, on-site creches, and especially, more tolerance of children being around while parents work, i.e. less of a strict divide between professional and domestic spheres. 4. My ideal scenario would be for men and women to split the work and the caring responsibilities as equally as possible, with employers offering both men and women the opportunity to cut down their hours as much as they wish at first, and build them up when they feel ready. 5. Academia is great for raising kids because of the flexibility. But, in the UK currently, it is far from ideal because of the long hours culture (flexibility = freedom to work all weekend, every weekend), and high level of competition. It saddens me that (at least in my country, in my field) a lot of female academics don't have kids, and a lot of male academics either don't have kids, or don't take an equal part in raising them. 6. I feel that part-time work in tenure-track/tenured academia is poorly understood. I wanted to do a job-share, but my employers weren't sympathetic to this. They seem to think academic job-shares aren't feasible. I don't know why this is."
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"Option of NONE for paid/unpaid maternity leave should be given. As someone who had worked as a post-doc for her employer for less than the time required to trigger FMLA, I didn't get any help from the university. Only my supervisor's graciousness meant I didn't have to return to work the next weekday."
   -- mom of 1,

"I get tired of people talking about "work life balance".... that phrase makes me want to vomit. "
   -- without children, untenured professor

"Really, there seem to be a couple of models for this: 1) wait until you're established/tenured (which is what I did, but then be old and have only one child, or adopt; 2) have a rich spouse, work part time in academia, have more kids; 3) don't wait until you're tenured, stop your tenure clock and take the career risk (though its worked for most tenure-track women I know; I don't know anyone who didn't get tenure after children, though most were very stressed about it. If you're an adjunct, there's a lot more risk.)"
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"I think our society is incredibly un-family friendly. We should have mandated, federally funded paid time to care for children for a year. We should have reasonably priced, high quality, plentiful day care. Without this, we make women and their families make really difficult decisions that involve compromising everyone's health, happiness and well-being. I'm pissed!"
   -- mom of 2

"Just an observation: your 'childcare in the first year' question seems odd. Working part time isn't childcare. My situation (working part-time, children with childminder/nanny) didn't really seem to be covered."
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"My department is amazingly family-friendly--they provided space for me to pump milk when I interviewed for the job, and both male and female faculty in our department regularly modify their teaching schedule or availability based on child care needs. I'm not familiar with any other academic department that's as wonderful as ours is in terms of supporting faculty with small children!"
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"We're waiting because my husband is now finishing his education (to be a nurse, not to be an academic). Once we're both done, we'll start trying to get pregnant. "
   -- without children, untenured professor

"My boss was incredibly supportive during and after my maternity leave, taking the attitude that it was fine to scale back on commitments and for me to slowly ramp back up to full-time speed. I made it very clear I was coming back full-time after maternity leave and in response he was very generous in terms of giving me the time off I needed. Only now, many months later, do I realize how much I needed that at the time. "
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I think it depends on the country, on the culture and on the mentalities!"
   -- mom of 1, Academia - Postdoc

"At one stage there was a choice between having another child and getting a PhD and I 'chose' to get the PhD. I will always deeply regret that choice ....although who knows what would have happened to my career if I had taken the 'mommy track' instead of clawing my way into a tenured job."
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"I think it affects *both* women and men PhDs if they are a couple. My perception is academia is more stressful in some ways (juggling different teaching and research responsibilities) *but* in some ways much more flexible than a "real" job in industry that requires much more regular hours (much harder to have flexibility when kid is sick etc.)."
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I don't know if this is helpful, but my chair [..] told me [his/her] advice has always been to have kids during grad school or after tenure. [He/she] was quick to follow up by saying that [he/she] would support whatever decision I made but that having a pre-tenure baby makes things very complicated. This was a bit panic-inducing for me since my partner and I have been thinking about having a baby before I go up for tenure. Of course [his/her] comments weren't anything I hadn't heard before.[..]"
   -- without children, untenured professor

"Go for it. You only have one life and while being intellectually stimulated is wonderful nothing compares to having a family. Stress and all."
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"I will never forget, 1990's when I was doing my B.Sc., going for coffee with a prof and lab advisor, lab advisor said to prof, "did you hear [female professor] is pregnant?" and the prof responded with total disdain: "Again?!" Hard to get my story out of the questions here, but my own theory is that if one does not come into grad school with a serious relationship, the devotion required to get the thesis written is so high that it takes great luck to find a serious relationship in these years. Therefore, graduating with a PhD at mid-20's age, and THEN starting one's career, means that it's almost a delayed adulthood, now you start getting serious about career, and start dating around. Hence the delay in kids."
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/non-research

"I find some of these options offensive. "I don't have a partner" is not a reason for not having kids. So much more complex than just partner=kids. If this is really a survey about this topic, I think you are missing the point... at least for women who are--at the moment of taking this survey--childfree."
   -- without children, untenured professor

"You shouldn't look at the time at work. You should look at having a meaningful life, getting what you need to done at work, and enjoying yourself."
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/non-research

"I think for tenure-track faculty in an engineering related field, an important consideration is making sure your research lab is well funded before your child arrives. This helped me keep my lab up and running smoothly during time off after baby."
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"Are you also looking at family planning by male PhD's and their perspective on the two-body problem?"
   -- without children, Academia - Postdoc

"while i do not plan to conceive children, i am leaning towards adopting 1-2 children at a later point in my career (e.g., after tenure). i'm drawn to adoption, having had so many friends who were adopted by loving families & knowing how many children in need are out there. "
   -- without children, untenured professor

"As a graduate student, I was encouraged to see both men and women professors bringing their children to the office when needed. It seemed to me that academia is better suited for children than other professions. Aside from the ``being really busy" part... but most academic personalities are by definition people who want to stay challenged and be busy anyway."
   -- without children, Academia - non tenure track

"Good: Flexible work schedule Bad: Impossible to invest all mental resources in work, kids always come first emotionally"
   -- mom of 2, Academia - Postdoc

"See MamaPhD book and blog. Hard to do both! Feel torn and stressed most of the time."
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"The top institutions in the Humanities are mostly populated by women who either did not have children or who had them before moving to that institution. Higher ed is not family friendly at many institutions (my current college is, however)."
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"I just find that I have less time for myself. Before I might read 1/2 day over the weekend and then relax. Now, I spend all my free time with my child and any time she is asleep I need to work to make up for lost time. I am getting a little mentally exhausted and any exercising is sooo hard to fit in these days. "
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"It's definitely worth doing both!"
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"it's pretty tough doing this in the US... sometimes i wish i lived in canada or europe!"
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"It's hard. Obviously there are things that can be done to make it easier for families with young children (higher quality child care, more accommodating policies regarding tenure, etc.) but at the end of the day there are only 24 hours per day and either you're at work or at home. Sometimes I feel guilty for getting a PhD and not "using" it more (perhaps even more so being a woman in a male dominated field), but I made the decision that was best for me and my family. Even though I don't know how things will turn out in 10-15 years, I do believe I will find a rewarding career that uses my degree, even if it's off the beaten path. Thanks for doing this survey, I'll look back to see the results."
   -- mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

"Based on my experience and that of close friends and family, I definitely see a familiar pattern. - Late to marry (I am of Indian origin where a 25+ woman is 'on the shelf' - so, at 29, I was nearing my expiry date) - Late to my first child (we dealt with telecommuting, visas and work pressures and procrastinated till we we had a rude awakening) - Went through the 10-steps to nirvana: 1. We have time 2. Okay. It's time to try. 3. Hmm.. okay we just need to keep trying. (stage where family/friends 'helpfully' say - so when are you having kids?) 4. Is something wrong? Consult the doc (stage where strangers ask 'you been married X years? How many kids do you have?) 5. Try the simple approaches first - and hope. (stage where family gets worried and starts consulting astrologers) 6. Jump into fertility treatments with zeal - and pray. (stage where family/friends are kept in the dark) 7. Hear the dreaded words - its not working. Time to try IVF -- and worry. 8. Do/eat/poke/inject anything you're asked to in single-minded pursuit. And embrace it. 9. Hear the welcome words - you're pregnant. Followed by the words .. you are over 35 so the baby is at risk for A/B/C/D .. and a few other alphabets you never heard of. 10. Have the baby and realize steps 1-9 was the easy (as in finite and time-constrained) part. Basically the common theme I have seen amongst friends is the need to now juggle guilt for being in a job (and away from the baby) against the need to stay in the job (for both security/independence and for career/balance).
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"despite my "education" I have no job security beyond next year, and will use all my <50k income to live and pay off as much debt as possible which I incurred in college and grad school. if I am privileged to have the financial resources to care for a child, then: logically, why should I create a child, when I can provide food, shelter and a loving home to a child who already exists? because I think my genes are better? If I want to make the world a better place, would it not make a bigger impact to feed one hungry person, to provide shelter for one homeless person, and to teach one uneducated person about peace, equality and all the values that I hope to be represented in subsequent generations? Rather than to assume that my child will necessarily represent my these values of peace and equality, and neutralize the hatred and misery that comes from poverty and ignorance, I would rather save one living child from a life of misery. As much as I would "like" to have children - when there are so many starving homeless children in the world, to want to have "my own," just seems selfish and contradictory to making a better world for more people "
   -- without children, Academia - non tenure track

"I was in grad school when I had my daughter, so there was no maternity leave. I arranged with my professors to miss two weeks of class and arranged for another grad student to cover the class I was teaching for two weeks -- after that, I was back in the classroom. "
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"I definitely think we would have started having kids much earlier if I hadn't gotten a Ph.D. My partner (male) also got a Ph.D. at the same time, but I tend to think that my being in grad school was more a barrier to us starting a family than his being in grad school."
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I am currently pregnant, which was not one of the options offered on the previous page. The current state of the academic market makes me quite ambivalent about my pregnancy and more angry yet about the institution. The utter absence of benefits such as maternity leave for none-tenured faculty is shocking (I was born and raised in France). Should women really have to choose in the 21st century? "
   -- without children, Academia - non tenure track

"My husband and I live in different states (because of work) and I am not willing to raise a child essentially by myself at this stage (and we both think my husband should be a big part of any child's upbringing too!)"
   -- without children, untenured professor

"I actually earned my Ph.D. after my children were in school."
   -- mom of 2, Retired

"In my case I made the decision to switch to a telecommuter role so my spouse could be the stable force - and while this gives me more daily time with the baby, it also twice the work to stay visible, and longer stretches away from home when my spouse carries the entire burden of daily care. Skype and video-conf has become my ally. And yet I consider myself fortunate for working in industry. I've met colleagues in academia who rushed to hotel rooms during conf breaks so they could express milk and store it before heading back to network. I've seen friends ask one set of grandparents NOT to come to the delivery of the child only so they can alternate with the other set for staying/helping out in 3-month cycles (esp. if the GP live abroad). And I find myself procrastinating on taking risks or making some decisions that I know are good for my career -- but that adversely impact the stability of the routine we currently have for the child. "
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I don't know how female academics with kids manage; I can barely take care of myself and the cat."
   -- without children, untenured professor

"That picture with the mom typing while holding the baby -- that was my life the first 6 months of his life. In fact, that's how I filled your survey."
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"Being LGBT is rarely discussed when people discuss PhDs and children. It raises other issues such as adoption, paying to conceive, etc. This is complicated by the fact that many public universities do not offer health insurance for same sex couples. "
   -- without children, Academia - Postdoc

"I would say *thank god* I have a female partner. It's the only way I've been able to keep my career going. I don't think that academia is at all set up for parents of small children or for pregnancy."
   -- mom of 1, untenured professor

"I seems you have the same opportunities as men have in the beginning. But at some point this seems to change almost unnoticed. In the Netherlands you do not have the same opportunities in the end unless you are willing to give up everything. That is a choice everyone has to make for themselves. The problem in the Netherlands i that respect is that working mums are eyed with suspicion. You work so you are a bad mum. That is a burden."
   -- mom of 3, Academia - non tenure track

"I had my son before going back for my PhD (between MS and PhD). This isn't the easiest road as I ended up working most of the time I pursued my PhD. I had a very supportive spouse and employer(s), though. Having a PhD and kids aren't mutually exclusive. I wish more female PhD had kids to show it can work and break down some of the barriers. "
   -- mom of 1, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I found the early years mentally and physically challenging. I think I would have regretted not having children if I hadn't had them. Now, I sort of wish we had had one more but physically, caring for two is enough!"
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"We waited until I had "good" health care/ insurance and full-time employee coverage. In hindsight, during grad school (when younger and better able to do without sleep) may have been better."
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"I strongly believe that academia is not a kind place for women having children. Currently I am working a number of adjunct positions, and it is difficult for me to lose a sense of identity to being part-time and wanting to be home to raise my child. It seems frowned upon by others because I have so much education. "
   -- mom of 1, Academia - non tenure track

"One of the reasons that I chose industry research over academia was because of my interest in having a family. I felt as though I would be better supported in an environment without a crazy tenure process and that was fundamentally family friendly at every level. The benefits alone are just astonishing. (I loved that my recruiter kindly told me that my health insurance would cover IVF.)"
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"Raising children affects one's schedule not just in the first few years after the child is born but later as well. While my employers and colleagues were quite accommodating, there is no system in place to support parents (of both genders). Tenure clock stops are helpful, but they only affect women whose children were born while they were in the tenure track position, not those who started with children. I don't know what a solution could be, but as it is the system is inflexible to personal circumstances. There is no system in place to provide maternity leaves for women in academia with teaching duties. Scheduling changes affect many people in the department (splitting semester courses between two instructors, for instance). There should be a way to allow a woman to take a semester off and hire a replacement. "
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"Even though it was very difficult professionally to have children, I would not change my mind about when to have children. I am happy with my family. Maternity leave is still problematic at our institution, and it really should be improved. Finding a solution that works for individual faculty members is always an adventure."
   -- mom of 2, untenured professor

"I have a job at a well respected research institution. I have not had children not because of career but because of an ongoing internal debate about the environment and the direction of the world. But when I look at my colleagues and see what they do to have both a successful career and children, it looks like they are spreading themselves too thin. My partner and I are looking to conceive in the next 6 months and if I am successful, I will likely back off from my career to focus on family. I'm not ambitious (or optimistic) enough to try to do both well."
   -- without children, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I know that some stay at home moms think less of me because I went back to work when I didn't have to but I truly believe that I was a better parent because I did. It's not that I love my children less. Rather it is that I wanted to give them a parent that was happy and well adjusted as a role model and the only way to do that was to be intellectually stimulated. I was more than happy to go back to work because I was already bored talking only about babies all the time!"
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/non-research

"it is crucial to have a network of other women with similar situation"
   -- mom of 2, tenured professor

"I had many interviews for faculty positions at good universities and was always told I was the choice if the person they offered it to turned it down. Being away with kids seemed to affect their belief in my passion for research when in fact I have an intense passion in a subdued package due to fatigue and post partum blues because moving for my partner's post doc meant I was without a social support network"
   -- mom of 2, Academia - non tenure track

"It's so stressful being on the job market while trying to conceive. I feel like women are made to feel like they're being unfair to their department if they happen to conceive within the first three years of a tenure-track job."
   -- without children, Academia - Postdoc

"Having the first kid in graduate school was nice because I just took more time and it didn't matter. It was slightly isolating though. "
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I'm at a liberal arts PUI (9 mo contract) with family leave policies designed for an R1 university (12 mo contract). I found my department and division chair to be more important than HR wrt handling my leave."
   -- mom of 1, tenured professor

"i brought my second to work with me and took turns with my husband who owns the company"
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

"I am the only woman with 3 children in our PhD granting department. *ALL* of the men who have children have SAH wives, even those who married PhDs. Only a few women have children in our dept. And all of the "star" women aren't married and don't have kids. I need role models of successful academic women who have multiple children. In any case, I notice more motherism than sexism around here, now. "
   -- mom of 3, tenured professor

"I hear its very rare to be a mom and a phD at the same time. I feel a bit left out of most of the social things my peers do (drinking, going to dinners). I feel like a slacker because they work so much more because they don't have the same commitments."
   -- mom of 1, Not in workforce

"As an independent IT consultant, I was able to be very flexible about the work that I took on. I never really fully stopped working, just cut down my hours dramatically, and my return to work was more like a gradual increase than suddenly starting work again. I have been very lucky in having a supportive family who would come away with me when I needed to do work away from home or attend conferences, and look after the children while I worked. "
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/non-research

"There is a tradeoff. On one hand there is a lot of flexibility. On the other hand, unless you have family or a very high spousal income the financial burden is great and that makes it difficult to focus on the dissertation and get it finished. "
   -- mom of 2, Industry or nonprofit/R&D

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